Stonewall 0408

Where would we be without homophobic Okies?

Over the years, I’ve given a lot of money to gay rights groups.  I’ve donated to the Human Rights Campaign, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Lambda Legal Defense Fund, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, and the Pampered Poodle Pad for the Gay Stray.  Yeah, I made that last one up, but it could happen.  Inside every gay person is a cat lady screaming to get out.  The point is that I give regularly to the many fine organizations that are fighting the good fight.  I do this because GLBTQ people still don’t have the same rights as straight people.  Only one state, Massachusetts, recognizes gay marriage, but thanks to the federal Defense of Marriage Act, no other state is obliged to recognize a Massachusetts same-sex marriage.  The full faith and credit clause of the Constitution does not apply to us.

Rampant discrimination and the ongoing violence against us is enough to keep me donating what I can – time, money, and column space.  We’ve made a lot of progress over the last forty years, so much that I wonder if the drag queens and butch dykes who rioted at Stonewall in 1969 would recognize these United States of America, but it’s not enough.  We’re not yet where we need to be, not by a long shot.  

And that’s why I’m grateful to Oklahoma State Senator Sally Kern and all who sail upon her.  Senator Kern is the wife of a Baptist preacher.  She’s a mother, she’s a politician, and she’s a moron.  She recently launched into an anti-gay tirade that made its way onto YouTube.com.  In it, Kern claims that homosexuality will be the ruin of this country, and that gays are a “bigger threat, even more so than terrorists or Islam” to the United States.  Kern also claimed “studies show that no society that has embraced homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades.”   

Ancient Greece anyone?  How about Rome?  There’s an Athens Greek and American Restaurant in Oklahoma City, but I’m guessing Senator Kern has never eaten there.  You never know what sins you might commit under the influence of couscous.

Senator Kern’s performance as The Latest Heartland Hayseed has garnered her more than 300,000 views on YouTube.  It’s also provided all of my favorite gay charities and political action committees with a free-but-invaluable fundraising tool.  I do wonder sometimes what we would do without loud-mouthed buffoons like Sally Kern.  Would I give as much to the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund if more politicians engaged their brains before opening their mouths?  Is it fear of the power of idiots that keeps organizations like the Pride Foundation ticking along?   

Sally Kern also claimed that “they,” by which she means us, “want to get our young children into government schools so they can indoctrinate them.  They’re going after our young children, as young as two in age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is acceptable.” 

Two years old?  Please.  Anyone who has spent time with a toddler will tell you that it’s hard enough to indoctrinate them into peeing in the toilet.  Nuanced lessons in equality and personal freedom will have to wait at least until the kid has stopped making rubber cement boogers and eating paste.  Or, in our Sally’s case, maybe not.  Someone check her breath for Elmer’s.

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