About Joan Opyr

Joan Opyr's real parents were the Queen and King of the Circus.  Though born and bred in Raleigh, North Carolina, she now considers herself a Wild Westerner through and through, from the top of her Resistol hat to the soles of her Justin ropers.  A gifted novelist, Joan also believes that she was the inspiration for the Black-eyed Peas song, "My Humps."

Professionally, Joan is an Op-Ed writer, a humor columnist, and a regular interviewer for a number of newspapers and magazines.  Most recently, she interviewed k. d. lang for Q View Northwest .  Because writing has never paid the bills, Joan's day jobs have been many and varied.  She was a bridal clerk for North Carolina's largest daily newspaper, The News and Observer.  She taught college English for many years while studying for a PhD in Anglo-Saxon.  She was the head of serials and acquisitions for a sizable academic library.  These days, she divides her time between nursing school and working as a CNA in a care facility for the elderly.  Is the work back-breaking?  Sure, but the people are wonderful and the stories are better than fiction. 

 One example:

A patient with Alzheimer's was wandering around the lounge.  When asked what she was looking for, she said, "My car.  Someone's stolen it." 

"Okay," said the CNA, "What make and model was it?" 

 The woman thought for a moment and said, "How the hell should I know?  I've got Alzheimer's!"

Joan  has been happily married to the same woman since the Crimean War.  They live in Moscow, Idaho, with their two lovely children, two dogs, and a small container of Sea Monkeys.  Joan is a die-hard, yell0w dog Democrat, who takes an active interest in local affairs -- so active, in fact, that she's thinking of training on of her dogs (or perhaps a Sea Monkey) in the fine art of bomb-sniffing.  This is Idaho, after all.

As for her hobbies, well, she hardly likes to say.

Please feel free to email her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .  Joan can't promise that she'll answer promptly, but she's notorious for answering thoroughly.